Friday, April 19, 2013

Life Gets Complicated...

It's been waaaay too long since I posted, that is if you're interested in what's happening.  If you're getting bored with this - maybe not ;-)   As I've said before, the odd and unusual has become the mundane, though one never completely gets used to things.  Just about the time you think you've adapted, the universe comes along and throws something new at you.  Things got more complex and I've become less of an observer and more of a participant, which is what I had anticipated in Peace Corps.   One of my realizations about my time here had to do with the fact that the work I do with LABE - a lot of Organizational Development - is pretty "hands-off."  But the more time one spends here - the more time I spend here, the more involved I become in everyone's story and the harsh realities of life here.  Again: a combination of exhilarating, humbling, heartbreaking and breathtaking.  Want to FEEL something beyond your comfort zone - come to Africa. 

All of a sudden, things have become busy and complicated.  A while back, I was casually bemoaning the circumstance of my work being so "mental."  The library project whose failed attempt at starting in 2011, finally manifested and then along came Peter, who opened the door to more than I'd anticipated.   In the middle of all this, a friend of mine who was a PCV in Mali, put on Gulu's version of the TED Talks and was there to take pictures.

 The event took place on the grounds of Gulu University (above with other PCV friends) and it was quite the deal.  The purpose of the event was to tell a different story of Northern Uganda, to share something other what people know of the North: "as a place you go to die." That's a direct quote from a Ugandan in Kampala.  There's a great TED talk called "The Danger of a Single Story" (http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html) and it's worth watching. This TED talk was about some of the rather amazing projects operating in Gulu to move people forward. On the right, yours truly between Erin Morrison, good PCV friend living in Padjule and Natalie Grillion, the creator of the event (formerly in Mali).

The library project is moving at a snail's pace, despite my working there every Tuesday and Thursday.  The issues seem trivial in the larger scheme of things, but the everyday log-jams that interfere with forward motion continue to be daunting.  I think one of the things that happens to volunteers here is that we want to do much and when your deafened by the sound of the chinks in the machinery of progress grinding to a halt - there's some self-reservation shut-down that occurs.  So life seems to even out - but the fact is we've just put the gone into  avoidance.  Useful sometimes.  But then there's something that matters breaks through the veneer of frustration-created-apathy and we re-engage.  This time it's the library project.  Every time I tell a Ugandan that we are creating a Children's Library (the first ever for Gulu and probably Uganda) they are moved nearly to tears over the idea - the commitment - the realization that   someone from the outside is trying to do this for THEIR children - the opportunity it represents.  It's a reminder that this is not a little thing and that it matters.  That's where the frustration comes in.  To have shelves for the children's room, we have had to liberate shelves from the adult collection, such as it is - mostly textbooks, with a little pleasure reading thrown in.  That means - for me - sorting through and organizing by category - a few thousand books.   Since this has not really been done before except for obvious categories like math, it's a walloping challenge.   And we could move those shelves if we could the years worth of duplicate papers moved out of the "children's room" - if anyone would come when they say they will - if anyone would call them back and follow-up, if anyone would......  What I can say about is:  it's a great upper-body work out and it's concrete.  When you've moved - and re-moved a few hundred books and see them i place, you can say - "I did that."  Much of what we do here is "planting seeds" that - if they grow - will come to fruition long after one leaves.    On the advice of a librarian friend, I am doing it by "book store" categories as opposed to Dewey Decimal System, because almost NO ONE shelves a book here.  What I HAVE noticed is that the more organized the collection becomes, the more people are using it as a library instead of just a place to read newspapers.  One of the first things we'll do when it's done is have a few classes on "how to  use a library." NO one really knows you can actually check out a book!  The class  -  will also include things like "IFF you shelve a book, put in spine out at least somewhere in the vicinity of where you pulled it out."  This from a librarian's daughter, but books are often put back backwards if they are re-shelved...  I know - I know - it's down in the noise, but there is just so much noise!  It's taken two months t do something I could have done in the States in 2 days. Enough of that.

And Peter. This is where the universe has thrown me a curve.  Peter is lovely:  personable, open, good hearted, works hard, is polite, committed, filled with gratitude and loved by his teachers. I'm honored to work with him.  But the Head Teacher at his school is a real piece-of-work.   There have been multiple complaints filed and no-one seems to be able to kick the bastard out.  It has not occurred to them to stop paying him - I feel pretty sure he'd get the idea.  This is a man who hates: Muzungus, women and anyone who dares to fear him - anyone with a voice.  He rules by fear, threat and vengeance. Not exaggerating.

The last time I visited with Peter on school matters,  the HT and I were in "conversation" when he simply turned his back on me and walked away.  I know men like that and am done with it.  The teacher's say "he's mental." This is a man who STILL boxes kids on the ears (he's a big man and hits them hard).  Damaged one kid's vestibular system and he couldn't walk straight for a week after.  He still canes students and when I left the last time, called Peter out in front of his class mates and called him a "piece of human wast, garbage, etc.  How dare he affiliate with Muzungus - etc."  Usually, none of the teachers will stand up to him, because he has sole power to hire-and-fire. But the latest episode has them stirred up and ready to come forward.  If only there was "someone home" at the level where this has to be handled. 

I ultimately went to the Deputy Regional District Commissioner (DRDC -  the president's representative in the District) and the District Education Officer, both of whom knew about the HT and suggested I move Peter to another school, knowing that getting the HT out would take forever, if it every happens.

This has been depressing and as I was trying to find another school, buying study aids to help Peter catch up, etc something good has emerged. Peter as so angered by HT behavior, that he has taken a stand with the HT and seems to have gained some strength and self respect.  Where people often will not stand up for themselves, they will do it for others and in doing so find the "gift" that Buddhist's say is hidden in adversity. In Uganda there are many men like this and if Peter can learn some coping methods it will serve him well in the future, but that's not what school should be about.  Still I think instead of "rescuing" him and sending him to another school where he will have to build relationships all over again, it might be in his best interest for him to  stay there because the teacher's adore him and have his back. A new school might be even more disruptive. While it's hard to get rid of a bad teacher in the States, this type of behavior would get one thrown out in a heart-beat.  It was yet another eye-opener I've managed to avoid until lately. Having gone to the high-officials in Gulu, the HT is back on their radar and there is a support system. Peace Corps tell us to "stay out of it," but thre are somethings you just can't stay out of.  You just have to be smart about how it's handled.

Because of Peter's interest in helping the street kids, yet another door was blown open. When  RDC  found out I was sponsoring Peter and trying to get his Street Kids Proposal out there, I became flooded with requests to help: money, website, donate a few hours a day.  This because the RDC referred them to me.  Good grief.  As my sister says: "No good deed goes unpunished."  I have had to set some firm boundaries - there are not enough hours in the day or energy to do all of this.  Having to communicate constantly that I need evenings and weekends to regroup and do all the things needed to self-maintain is - in itself- exhausting.  I explain I don't bring money, I have no time to research and write proposals since I HAVE a full time job and two projects - and I remind them that since I do not have a WIFE (the doer of all things here) I do all of my own cooking, cleaning, shopping and laundry - therefore don't have time for a fourth project.  Having said that at least three times to the same person), who keeps coming back like he has never heard any of it - we have at last reached an understanding.  I will do some editing and add my voice - not insignificant because they believe a Muzungu voice carries more authority. The sad truth is:  it does.  We met with higher ups today to get things moving forward.  

This is all on the heels of a Human Rights conference that focused on the suicide issue here.  In the last 4 months there have been 95 suicides in the larger Gulu area - all people between 20-something and about 35.    These are the ones who - for the most part - were born in the war camps and have no mechanism for coping with the realities and responsibilities of life on the outside.   The group I'm trying to help is called Help a Child Uganda - and their focus is on getting the "new group" of street kids some help so they don't meet the same fate or dish out their misery to others.

So that's what's been keeping me busy and away from blogs as of late.  I understand how it is that volunteers decide to extend during their last half-year.  Not happening here, although I'm working my butt off to finish the library and get Peter's situation more stable before I leave.  This is a pivotal year for him and will determine IFF he gets into a senor school and which one...   All of that needs to be determined before I leave or at least some structure for managing it.  I'll not be here when he finishes P7 so I've got to set some things up.

Lordy - on the up side:  we have an "old farts" trip planned for Zanzabar before the Close of Service conference in July.  Seven of us are headed that way.   And I can't WAIT until the kids come in September!  Other good news: the library I helped my home-stay sponsor start is now active!  That one also makes my heart sing.  Going to try to get her a sign for it - right now it's just word-of-mouth - but people are coming and checking out books. Cool, huh! Most there have never even heard of a library!"

The power just "finished" and I've been discovered by mosquitoes - so I'm headed under the net.