Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Musings of a Deranged Mind

Well I think I may have been at medical too long...  I know this, because everyday when I come in and sit down on the comfy black Naugahyde couch and put my hoof up and await the process of  re-bandaging, the random comments one hears range from "Hey, howyadoin? Get those test results back? No?"  to "Oh, you need another stool sample?  I'll see what I can do..."  and this seems normal.  It's  something one can only hear in Peace Corps where the conversation turns to things biological - dysentery, parasites, stool samples, fungus, bites, bruises, and on and  on - ad nauseum.  While medical staff are very protective of privacy, the volunteers have no such compunction.  And just to be clear, this conversation is not just in medical it's at dinner tables where ever PCVs gather. 

In this petrie dish of the prurient, every morning as I sit down, immediately to my left is a beautiful Papyrus basket with bright red foil packages in it.  What are those?  They're awfully sparkly and what a nice red.  Oh - condoms - of course....  We are in a high risk AIDS culture, so you can pick up a handful of condoms like you might pick up a handful of peanuts or M&M's else where.  The other day I went to the National HIV/AIDS Prevention Celebration.  They were giving free blood tests and circumcisions.  And a woman came by with a big box, cheerfully handing out goodies.  Oh, I want some!  The men are grabbing; the women are giggling and some are grabbing them then hiding them quickly.  WHAT are they handing out in long strips?  Oh - condoms...   Well, never mind.  We got a strip in our medical boxes and they are packaged in camouflage colors of tan and brown.  Still working on that marketing ploy.

So back to medical.  I am sitting there with my foot up - all nicely wrapped in a stunning blue sterile medical pad - to protect if from dirt, mud etc.  Infection is a real threat.  And last night when I showered, this thing did little to keep the foot dry (it wasn't really designed for that after all) - even though I held it out at a completely un-natural angle during the process.  This all after hobbling up a series of really filthy dirt roads to get to the restaurant to eat.  My heel was hurting from landing on it every time I had to use that foot - since the front 3/4 of it are useless at present.

I'm thinking  there must be a way to protect this foot more effectively from water and mud and to affix some sort of rubber heel protector on it when I really have to hoof it longer distances.

Now, sitting next to these condoms and more than a little bored, my mind does what it does - starts looking for solutions - using the resources on hand.  You know where I'm going - so if this offends you stop here. While I do have duct tape, I would have to tape it to my foot and that would get awfully tiresome ripping duct tape off my foot, taking a little skin with it each time.  Rubber bands are in short supply...  well - hmmm.  Damn!  Why didn't  think of this earlier?  This is an excellent solution!  I can get some foam, cut it to the shape of a heel and tie it on with condoms!  There are PLENTY available, no one would miss a handful...   And then I thought of just slipping one over the whole foot to keep the moisture off the bandage.   Naaah - there's probably not one in a size 7  1/2 and it would be awfully constricting.

I will further research this and let you know what I decide...

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